Warmest of welcomes to I Lost My 30’s new readers!!! Thank you so much for visiting and for deciding to stay : ), and thank you so much to all of you who have followed I Lost My 30’s along the way : )
On behalf of the International Bipolar Foundation (www.ibpf.org).
The IBPF website has a number of wonderful resources, information about free webinars you can take, books, classes, latest news and other mental health articles. Worth a visit!!
Today was one if those days I absolutely dread. Paperwork needing to be completed, deadlines, phone appointment (that I missed), scheduling to be done, copies to be made…all things relating to my diagnosis of Major Depression and mental health.
I have been working very, very hard to try to get back into my life, being more engaged, signed up for a ballet class, trying a new type of therapy (Dialectical Behaviorial Therapy), even trying to make new friends (which is beyond weird at my age). But today…while filling all the papers out, checking all the boxes:
Suicide attempt YES
Medications YES YES YES
Have I worked before YES
Are you currently employed NO
and on and on and on…
I felt my mood fall with each checked box.
So tonight, I’m finding it incredibly hard to stay ‘strong’ and uplifted while thinking about all of my checked boxes and all of my answers. Those checked boxes are my life. Those checked boxes are what I bring into every situation. Who is going to want any of that? I don’t even want a lot of it. But, the checked boxes are my reality, and they are pretty front and center. Today, they suck so, so bad.